daring change

‘Our consciousness rarely registers the beginning of a growth within us any more than without us: there have been many circulations of the sap before we detect the smallest sign of the bud.’

George Eliot wrote this in Silas Marner, her novel about a lone and isolated man who forsakes materialism for the love of an abandoned child. When I read it, I pondered my resistance to the changes I desire, the ones that will allow me to be a larger, more loving being when I would much prefer something smaller and easier. At the moment, I’m contemplating how to be both more outwardly active and more humble, more authentic. And I’m also wondering how to make choices that nourish me in food but also in other things–what I read, what I watch or listen to, the things that I choose to speak about–I want to prefer the things that offer me  and others support and health rather than sticking with comfort, habit or negativity. Stephanie Dowrick first inspired me about those kinds of changes. And I swear that doesn’t mean I forego delights, but I choose them with discernment, if you know what I mean. Those are the areas of change I’m seeking to to foster–and all my bad habits and easy choices, well, I guess, I can nip them in the bud! Or catch myself before I let them grow.